I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
