ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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