he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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