it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
