Don't you send me to vm
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
