whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
