hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so let's talk penis.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
