I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
