I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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