I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
