Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
