Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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