UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Terrible idea I love it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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