I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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