Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
