Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
