Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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