i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
