it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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