I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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