i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
