Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
