i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
