WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Randomize
