he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
