i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
ttyl tear gas
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
