So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
