so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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