To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
