its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
