From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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