Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
As shirtless as possible
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
