do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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