The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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