Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
