honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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