Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
