Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
