Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
