so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
