Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
