toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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