Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
