What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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