Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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