FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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