I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
