also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
