I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
