is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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